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Phil Gomes

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Phil's Blogservations

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

Posted by philgomes 5:58 PM

Pitch Ultimately Yields Inadvertent History Lesson: This was sent to me by yet another one of my deeply placed moles in the technology industry. It speaks for itself. --------- From: [NAME MERCIFULLY WITHHELD] Sent: Wednesday, September 26, 2001 9:20 AM To: Undisclosed Recipients Subject: Unfortunate Error In my recent letter regarding my client, I had referred to its managing partners as having "interesting Alger Hiss backgrounds." I meant to say that they had "Horatio Alger" backgrounds. So they can be characterized as rags-to-riches types, not as highly placed diplomats acting as double agents for the Soviets. A slight difference. Please excuse the error and this redundant e-mail. I just couldn't let it lie there.



Friday, September 21, 2001

Posted by philgomes 3:04 PM

Full Text of President George W. Bush's Speech: Here is a transcript of Dubya's speech to the U.S. last night. Say what you want about being a "pit bull on the pant leg of opportunity," "making the pie higher," or any number of verbal missteps the man has made. This stirring speech was well-constructed (credit his writer) and well-delivered (credit him).



Posted by philgomes 12:07 PM

Gattaca For Real: While I'm sure that this company is working on wonderful things that will benefit humanity, their tagline needs a little bit of work.



Posted by philgomes 11:25 AM

Sound Investment Advice: Sent to me from a friend: "If you bought $1,000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49. If you bought $1,000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit, you would have $79. My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."



Thursday, September 20, 2001

Posted by philgomes 3:32 PM

"And You Thought That Terrorism Created Tragedies?" (Cont'd): This is my last post on the topic, I swear. This story has made the rounds so many times, that I've really given up on hiding the names. The Holmes Report, a respected PR journal, is carrying what is probably the best wrap-up of the story.



Wednesday, September 19, 2001

Posted by philgomes 12:19 PM

People suck: 'Nuff said.



Monday, September 17, 2001

Posted by philgomes 4:37 PM

"And You Thought That Terrorism Created Tragedies?" (Cont'd): According to one of my deeply placed moles (in the PR industry, that is), 'Theresa Flack' has been fired. The following email is supposedly from her CEO. -------- Subject: FW: Response to PR Blunder To Whom it May Concern: On behalf of JHS Communications, I am writing to acknowledge the unfortunate incident created by an employee of my agency.
This week, an employee crafted an email pitch for our client, Robust Savings Solutions, which was sent to two reporters tagging a story idea to the national crisis. This pitch was developed and delivered without Robust Savings Solutions' knowledge, and in fact despite a directive from Robust Savings Solutions that no media relations activity should occur at all that day.
Upon learning of the incident, we took immediate action and have accepted the resignation of this employee. In addition, that same day, I personally contacted and apologized to the editors and reporters at the two publications that were involved.
This employee's actions and poor judgment are not representative of JHS Communications or the quality of counsel we provide to our clients.
This act of one individual in no way reflects the professionalism of the entire JHS Communications staff. We deeply regret any indication that we intended to capitalize on the tragedy that has befallen the nation.
I speak for the 60 employees of JHS Communications when I say that we have been deeply affected by the events of September 11 and extend our sincere sympathy to the families and friends of the victims.
If you have any questions about this situation, please contact me at 212-555-0011 or Reena Dorfer, Director of Public Relations at Robust Savings Solutions, at 212-555-0011. Regards, Ichiban Triggerfinger President Just-Hit-Send Communications, Inc.



Posted by philgomes 4:22 PM

"And You Thought That Terrorism Created Tragedies?" (Cont'd): The response on the posting regarding horrific PR blunder below has been exactly what the United States' response to terrorism promises to be: "Swift and relentless."
Here is a sampling:
  • "That's so terrible. It's not even a good pitch. It sounds like she's trying to set up a loan with him."
  • "'Epitome of bad taste?' No kidding, Phil. Thanks, I shared this with my company."
  • "Oh my - This is bad."
  • "The latest in a long line, and sadly not the last, of stupid PR tricks. Today I received 2 phone calls at home: a brokerage calling me up to ask if I want to invest in a fund I requested written info about a few months ago, and a hotel, asking for my next payment for a vacation I have a deposit on for my daughter and me. As a wag once said, there's no accounting for bad taste."
  • "Really bad. On Tuesday afternoon a marketing company (who had send me really cool brochures the week before) called me to check if I liked their stuff and wanted their services. That was awful too especially when he ended the call with 'I really enjoyed talking to you' all in a honey-sweet tone. Just so unreal that day."
  • "Oh, come on. At least tell me who the journalist/publication are!"
  • "That PR pitch was totally tasteless. She probably thought she was being all clever."
  • "Oh, god - that's horrible. If you know her actual name, I hope you wrote and told her she has shamed us all. Hope you're doing ok."
  • "Amazing and appalling! And sadly, probably not the last we'll see of people trying to make a tie-in and make a buck."
  • "I am sickened."
  • "'Theresa' should get her head examined. I'm still shaking mine. "
  • "Hey, Phil. At least this girl was aware that something was happening on September 11. :-)"
  • "That's pretty pathetic."
  • "Wow! I can't believe how narrow minded some people can be."
  • "Not only is it in extremely poor taste, but it a terrible pitch! I couldn't even read the whole thing." (Threats omitted.)
  • "This one is really bad. I've seen a lot of similar stuff where the enormity and importance of what occurred last week just hasn't taken hold."
  • "God, that's awful."



  • Posted by philgomes 4:05 PM

    "And You Thought That Terrorism Created Tragedies?": The following is the epitome of bad taste within my chosen profession.
    I have mercifully omitted the name of the offending flack, her agency, and her client. Similarly, I have changed the name of the journalist to "Samuel Mason." I've renamed the flack to "Theresa Flack" and her client to "Robust Savings Solutions." Nevertheless, this deplorable incident has already made it around the net several times, so the actual identities are yet another "well-known secret."
    This is nevertheless an actual pitch. The time/day stamp on the original email is the afternoon of Sept. 11, the very day of the airliner tragedies.
    Proof positive that some people really just don't get it. ------- From: Samuel Mason (Publication Omitted)
    Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 1:41 PM
    To: Theresa Flack
    Subject: Re: At last, some GOOD news!

    You win the bad taste award.

    -------

    From: Theresa Flack
    Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 13:39:31 -0400
    To: Samuel Mason (Publication Omitted)
    Subject: At last, some GOOD news!

    Sam,
    Unfortunately, today's crisis in DC and New York is not the only crisis to hit American families. There is also a HUGE debt crisis in America, which is only augmented by parents lack of savings for college. Consider this:

    A college degree has never been more importantS? * The typical college graduate will earn $1 million more over her lifetime than the typical high school graduate.
    * Investing in a college education pays higher returns, on average, than investing in the stock or bond market. Evidence suggests that the real rate of return for higher education is 5 to 15 percent per year; the historical real rate of return on long-term government bonds and on a broad stock market index has averaged 2.8 percent per year and 7.0 percent per year, respectively.

    However, the typical family with children currently has $12,900 of financial assets. This isn't a drop in the bucket against the cost of college.

    NOW THE GOOD NEWS:
    Robust Savings Solutions helps families to save for their childrenšs college education. It involves family and friends, and allows the savings to accumulate in tax-advantaged accounts. With Robust Savings Solutions, a family earning $60,000 - which is roughly equal to the typical income of two-parent families with children under 18 years old - can save more than $20,000 for their children's college education over a 15-year period.

    Imagine if parents got free money for their childrenšs college education whenever they went to the grocery store. Talked on the phone. Bought gasoline, toys or books. Dined out. Used their credit card. Even when they bought a new car, a new home, or paid their mortgage. What could be easier?

    Robust Savings Solutions will announce the expansion of its savings network to the grocery story. With over 2,400 participating products, there is no special card required-consumers simply join Robust Savings Solutions and use their supermarket loyalty card each time they shop. According to the most recent U.S. census report, the typical family grocery shops two times per week and spends hundreds of dollars. Now, a portion of each dollar spent on participating products goes into a 529 college savings fund for the child.

    More details are available in the release below. I'd love to speak further with you, as I know this is something your readers will be interested in. After all, it's free money, and it's NOT too good to be true!!!

    Best,

    -Theresa Flack




    Tuesday, September 11, 2001

    Posted by philgomes 7:44 PM

    My Generation's Own Pearl Harbor: No sense telling you what you already know.
    The government has ideas of who's responsible. Whomever it is, he should not be killed. No sense stoking the emotional fires of a bunch of cowardly terrorists by giving them a martyr.
    When we do catch this son of a bitch, my recommendation for punishment is simple. We lock him in a padded room at a secret location, disabling all hope for the nobility of suicide (epoxying rubber on his teeth, for example, to prevent their use in bloodletting). We have a scrambled satellite uplink that broadcasts the output of a jail cell web cam 24/7/365 over the Internet. We will deny this terrorist whatever holy glory that he thinks he'll get from a glorious death. The world, will instead, watch him grow old and rot dishonorably.
    For those fighting a holy war-- a "jihad" --there is no worse punishment.
    "Cruel and unusual?" Yes, but so is crashing airliners into major buildings and the Pennsylvania countryside.



    Wednesday, September 05, 2001

    Posted by philgomes 1:54 PM

    Ben Stein Calls for an Investigation: Commentator, game show host, Nixon speechwriter, and actor Ben Stein is calling for an investigation of "those who inflated the bubble."
    I couldn't agree more. It is with unremitting glee that I observe the blathering proponents of the so-called "New Economy" and profit-challenged Internet companies are now coming under the microscopes and magnifiers of the investing public. (Take that Meeker! And that, Blodgett!) When a crazy and overheated investing world needed solid analysis, it got cheerleaders instead-- cheerleaders who pumped up ratings on stocks in their own portfolios.
    As I'm fond of saying in my PR circles: "Dot-coms make headlines; science makes history." This was true during the boom, and even more so during the bust.
    I'll take the time to offer one anecdote. When I was working with this one client several years ago during the boom, a competitor jumped into its space with a much-ballyhooed, yet problematic and over-marketed technology. Every industry analyst I talked to (except one, whose reports were voluminously purchased by this competitor) talked at length about the various problems that this newcomer's technology suffered. During a team meeting, I discussed the matter with my boss at the time.
    "You're not worried about this new competitor?" boss asked.
    "No," I said. I then went into the various reasons, from a business and engineering perspective, why the technology would have a trouble gaining a foothold.
    Not wanting to stoop so low as to have to actually understand the technology, I was interrupted with "None of that matters anymore, Phil."
    "Huh?"
    "You don't understand, Phil," boss told me in a by-then-familiar condescending tone. "They are funded by leading venture capitalists and they have a good story."
    And, thus, the conversation ended. Years later, this competitor is struggling like an unlucky lap dog caught between a Lay-Z-Boy chair and Dom Deluise's ass, thanks, yes, to technical problems and bad business decisions.
    The point is this: We look to VCs to lead us to the next big thing, and all that they did was follow blindly. We looked to Wall Street analysts to provide uncompromised research, and we got The Great Dot-Com Booster Club.



    Tuesday, September 04, 2001

    Posted by philgomes 12:36 PM

    Dastardly, Quadrannual Bay Area Extortion Attempt Foiled: Yup...Another four years have passed and that makes it BART strike season!! Thank heavens the strike was averted with about a day to spare. I mean, I got to the point where I really couldn't take hearing the question "What're you gonna do if BART strikes?" one more time!
    They aren't disclosing the terms that the unions are considering, but I do know that BART was offering an 18% raise over three years. I think the unions were asking 20% over two years.
    I'm not going to make any value judgments here, but please realize that teachers have to beg for every half-percent raise. If they leave or decide not to work, our kids-- kids learning in the worst education system in America --get dumber. It's that simple, people. However, striking teachers do little to hurt commerce. BART unions, on the other hand, have apparently reveled in the fact that they can threaten to plaque the workaday arteries of the Bay Area and deprive 300,000 people of their speedy, emission-free commutes.
    I'm not faulting anyone's methods for obtaining a living wage in this stratospheric cost-of-living climate. I'm just offering my readers another perspective.




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