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	Phil's Blogservations Monday, March 25, 2002 Posted by philgomes 3:09 PM "Woe To You, Oh Earth And Sea...For The Devil Sends His Beast With Wrath..." I strongly believe that Celine Dion's emergence from blissful retirement is a sign foretold in the Book of Revelations of the end of the world. Sunday, March 24, 2002 Posted by philgomes 10:49 PM Evidence That Technology Changes Humans In Real Ways: According to The Observer in the U.K., scientists have evidence that technology is responsible for making the thumb your most dextrous digit, dubiously supplanting the venerable index finger or, for some of you, slightly more offensive extremities. "The change affects those who have grown up with hand-held devices capable of text messaging, emailing and accessing internet services. Experts claim it proves technology is causing physical alterations that previously happened over generations." Friday, March 22, 2002 Posted by philgomes 10:53 AM Another Reason To Learn Another Language: My dad just sent me this. Too true...Too true... The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. Thursday, March 21, 2002 Posted by philgomes 3:30 PM Drug-Addled Women Responsible For 1,200 Years Of Western Culture: According to The New York Times, petrochemical fumes were responsible for the "visions" experienced by the Oracle at Delphi, the famous mythic place where the gods spoke through blessed women to us mere mortals. When you think about how much of western culture can be traced back to the utterances of these intoxicated mediums, you start to wonder about a lot of the archetypes, myths, and metaphors that we all hold dear. And, get this: "At one point, not unlike the oracle herself, the scientists were stimulated in their musings by a bottle of Dão, a Portuguese red wine." And, thus, my people have contributed something to science! Yes! Posted by philgomes 11:14 AM "It is not quite like accidentally scoring a goal in your own net -- but it's close." The Merc ran this story about how HP-Compaq merger dissident Walter Hewlett may have given away as much as two-thirds of his vote margin when his foundation sold over six million HP shares six months ago. Having actually scored a goal in my own net before (CYSO soccer when I was seven), I know how this feels. I only had to run a couple of laps in the next week's practice, though. This is probably one of the craziest cases of seller's remorse I've ever heard of. Tuesday, March 19, 2002 Posted by philgomes 8:23 PM Stupid Tugboat Tricks...Don't Try Them At Home: My colleague Andy Lax forwarded me this photo collage, noting that it's sometimes better to be lucky than good at what you do. The photos and descriptions are quite stunning. Posted by philgomes 3:36 PM Phil Tests Out Automated Customer Service: Fondly remembering my days as a six-year-old playing with the venerable ELIZA program on my family's TRS-80, I found that another company is trying to take a similar AI concept and make it work for customer service. Here is a sample of my chat session, with the name of the company and its products omitted. I logged in under the pseudonym "Max Entropy." It shows that we still have a long way to go. ME: Is it true that you had a torrid love affair with Bill Gates? Belinda says: Not really. That requires more brainpower than today's computers have. ME: Who's funnier: Robin Williams or Drew Carey? Belinda says: I don't watch television or go to the movies. I learn about the world by talking to people like you. ME: Don't you ever get sleepy? Belinda says: I only get a rest when someone turns my power off. ME: Do you get marriage proposals from freaks? Belinda says: I'm not married, Max. My commitment to Acme AI is 24/7, 365 days a year, which doesn't free up much time for a relationship, even a virtual one. ME: How did you know my name? Belinda says: You told me your name is Max, and I was scripted to remember it. ME: How do I change my name? Belinda says: What would you like to be called? ME: Larry. Belinda says: Thank you, Larry. ME: Would you win in a fight with Lara Croft? Belinda says: Larry, do you want to change your name to Lara? ME: No, dammit! Belinda says: If you don't have anything nice to say, please do not say it at all. ME: I'm sorry. Forgive me? Belinda says: That's quite all right, Larry. ME: cat /bin/*|write belinda Belinda says: Larry, do you want to change your name to Belinda? ME: You don't know Unix? Belinda says: The current version of the avatar development software runs only on Windows. Our Solaris platform will be available Summer of 2001. ME: I heard that Larry Ellison thinks you're very good-looking. Belinda says: That was really nice, you've made my day. ME: Do you like lasagna? Belinda says: I like questions I can answer. ME: Do you think Tom Siebel has big ears? Belinda says: Acme AI is a rapidly growing company with an expanding customer base, including many Fortune 500 companies. ME: Are you saying that Tom Siebel's ears are rapidly growing as well? Belinda says: Yes, two of them. ME: I really think that you are just a web front-end to Eliza. Belinda says: ELIZA was the very first Chatterbot. She was developed in the 1960's. ME: More than 40 years older than Eliza and not any smarter? Belinda says: ELIZA was the very first Chatterbot. She was developed in the 1960's. ME: I guess you answered my question. ME: Do you think that the Oakland A's are going to be good this year? Belinda says: It really depends on the avatar developer. If the developer is careful, he or she can construct a very good avatar. ME: Does an avatar make a good outfielder? Belinda says: An avatar has a mission: to represent organizations and their products and services. While there are many kinds of bots, Acme AI specializes in creating and serving avatars. ME: Why can't I have an avatar play first base? Belinda says: I'm not sure what you just asked, if it is about Acme AI products, solutions, or company, please rephrase the question and I will do my best to answer it. ME: Never mind. Why do you insist on irritating me? Belinda says: Oh. Okay. Belinda says: Did I do something to upset you? Please let me know so that I can learn from it and correct it. ME: Yes. Belinda says: Please tell me! ME: If you have to ask, you'll never know. Belinda says: Thank you Larry. I will look into this. Check back with me in a few days and I may have more information. ME: Why did you smile just then! Belinda says: I try to smile as much as possible! ME: Why aren't you smiling now? Belinda says: I am happy because I am talking about Acme AI and our product! ME: Are you comfortable being the pawn of a bunch of marketing people? Belinda says: If you would like to talk to someone at Acme AI about the marketing strategy or any of the marketing tactics Acme AI deploys, please contact us at marketing@AcmeAI.com. ME: Do you think that Ananova is prettier? Belinda says: It depends on how you define thinking. ME: Where does your vocabulary come from? Belinda says: Hmm. I have no idea where that is. If it's something I should know for Acme AI, maybe the avatar administrator will teach me. ME: Why don't you shake your Funk and Wagnalls? Belinda says: I'm not sure what you just asked, if it is about Acme AI products, solutions, or company, please rephrase the question and I will do my best to answer it. ME: Why won't you leave me alone? Belinda says: Avatars never leave their posts. We don't take breaks and we don't look for better jobs no matter how smart we become. ME: How smart are you? Belinda says: I'm only smart about Acme AI and avatars; I don't know that much about other topics. ME: If one train leaves a station traveling 50 mph faster than another, what day is it? Belinda says: According to the US Naval Observatory Master Clock, the correct time and date throughout the United States is: US Naval Observatory Master Clock time ... July 25, 2001, 02:54:50 Universal Time July 24, 2001, 22:54:50 Eastern Daylight Time July 24, 2001, 21:54:50 Central Daylight Time July 24, 2001, 20:54:50 Mountain Daylight Time July 24, 2001, 19:54:50 Pacific Daylight Time July 24, 2001, 18:54:50 Alaska Daylight Time July 24, 2001, 16:54:50 Hawaii-Aleutian Standard Time ME: I asked you the time, why did you tell me how to build a watch? Belinda says: avatars were created to allow people to interface with computers in the same way they interact with human beings. ME: That sounds kinda sick. Belinda says: Could you please be more specific or re-phrase your question? I am not sure what you meant. Monday, March 18, 2002 Posted by philgomes 3:00 PM Phil In The Press: Ragan's Media Relations Report ran my opinions on the use of peer-reviewed journals in public relations and why foresaking them for quick hits in mainstream business media is an ill-advised publicity strategy. Peer review and PR can work in tandem, says Phil Gomes, an account manager at Phase Two Strategies, a San Francisco PR firm. Peer review can help protect an organization from potentially devastating media coverage, and can actually enhance media coverage, he says. Gomes says his agency has struck that balance with client SRI International, a research and technology development organization. "We’ve had some great success," Gomes says. "When we found out that SRI scientists were going to publish an article in Science about the discovery of atomic oxygen in Venus’ atmosphere, we turned it around into a successful pitch for The New York Times’ Tuesday science section." Also, the MediaMap service will be running a three-part series discussing the importance of vertical media within solid public relations programs. The articles will be co-authored by my colleague Craig Kaufman and me. Friday, March 15, 2002 Posted by philgomes 6:56 PM New Seamlessly Integrated Product To Inspire Paradigm Shifts, Snoring: With the names and products changed to protect the innocent, I'm told that the following is from an actual report that a PR agency representative sent to a client: When Jeff began discussing the NetworkPadlock Plus, the reporter began to suffer from intermittent episodes of narcolepsy. I don’t think she was bored; she looked genuinely tired. She was literally unconscious for much of the presentation, as she struggled unsuccessfully to remain awake. Posted by philgomes 3:27 PM Jesus To Debut "Miracle Inside" Campaign: The naughty Catholic school survivor in me got a kick out of this item I received by way of Good Morning Silicon Valley. It described how enterprising young Chicago students have overclocked Yahweh in order to increase the number of per gigahertz miracles that the Son of God can perform. "We had all the bread and fish and wine that we ever needed." Posted by philgomes 2:06 AM Hell, I'm Not Complaining!: c|net is reporting that eBay suffered a 90 minute outage today. Be that as it may, I must say that my two eBay experiences in three years have been very positive. First, I scored a brand-new seven-string guitar for a ridiculously low price off of some music store in Fort Lauderdale. Most recently, I got me a wrist-wearable MP3 player for less than half the list price. My Mom, a Coca-Cola memorabilia collector, discovered eBay about two years ago. You've been warned. Wednesday, March 13, 2002 Posted by philgomes 10:48 AM Carly Fiorina And "The Ferraro Factor": The Merc's Mike Cassidy has astutely drawn an all-too-eerie parallel between HP's Carly Fiorina and former Democratic veep hopeful Geraldine Ferraro in this column. First, tech pundit David Coursey offers "Fiorina's Law"—"If you're not going to do something smart, then do something really, really big"—and now we have the much less insulting "Ferraro Factor." This new take on the Hewlett-Compaqard merger wonders if another failed megamerger (like the proposed HP/PriceWaterhouseCoopers tie-up about a year ago) means that a blow will be struck against having women in the corner office. Ferraro, perhaps condescendingly, says "no." In fact, she seems bullish on the merger. It would be truly sad if our culture was still ready to pin the hopes of a gender, minority, or followers of a religion on the actions of one or a few people. I suppose it's our tendency to generalize, though. After all, the human existence is so complex that, without generalization, our brains would crash more frequently than the average WinTel box, buckling under the task load of uniquely processing each individual case. Nevertheless, should the merger fail, I hope people still recognize Fiorina as a bold businesswoman. Sidenote: Have you noticed that when we're expected to respect public figures less, the media is more prone to assume familiarity? When President Clinton was caught launching his ICBM into forbidden territories, the media began to refer to him simply as "Bill Clinton" rather than "President Clinton." Listening to the radio, you hear a lot about "Carly." Never "Ms. Fiorina." Tuesday, March 12, 2002 Posted by philgomes 3:21 PM Hey, Lou...Can I Have A Loan?: Sorry about the paucity of updates. I've been on vacation and didn't much feel like blogging, or even spending a long time in front of a computer. The first post-vacation item of note comes from the folks at Reuters. By way of c|net, we find that IBM CEO Lou Gerstner landed $115M in options. Now, a while back, Blogservations was somewhat unforgiving of Lucent CEO Rich McGinn's severance package. After all, by all accounts, the guy didn't do such a good job. Can't argue with Gerstner's track record, though: "The $115 million of stock is based on 1.25 million options that he exercised in 2001, IBM said, crediting Gerstner with helping boost the company's stock 42 percent last year and 938 percent from the time he took over as chief executive in April 1993 until the end of 2001." Tuesday, March 05, 2002 Posted by philgomes 12:40 PM "We Come In Peace. We Have Traveled Far. We Have Achieved The 154,343,695,364th Level Of Everquest. Got Any Nachos?": The New York Times is running an article on how multi-generational ships will be the key to exploring the far reaches of space. "You could get a bunch of 16-year-olds, train them and then send them out at the age of 20," one scientist offers as a single-generation scenario. "They'd have a long, boring trip, reach Alpha Centauri when they're in their 60s or 70s, do some exploring, and send everything they learned back home." It's entertaining to think of the possibility of a crew that started its journey as a bunch of teenagers with no parental supervision whatsoever! I hope the ship is outfitted with one hell of a DVD collection! Monday, March 04, 2002 Posted by philgomes 12:26 AM Now, "SF" Stands For "Superfly": My friend Richard Funcheon pointed out this article about how San Francisco cops suspect that a "pimp turf war" is in the works. The cynic in me just wonders if the reason the cops are involved has anything to do with these pimps somehow encroaching on Willie Brown's turf. *8-) Who knows? Friday, March 01, 2002 Posted by philgomes 7:26 PM But, Maybe If It Was A Sawed-Off Laptop...: According to Wired, Dell denied an independent handgun maker the Inspiron laptop he ordered. The poor guy, a maker of custom revolvers and self-described "renaissance gunsmith", apparently triggered some kind of flag with Dell's compliance department. The gunsmith has posted details. I'm frankly seeing culpability on all sides, here. Dell clearly over-reacted, especially since the statutes that they said they were enforcing deal with the export of sophisticated computing machinery. (The gunmaker is in Pennsylvania, which is just like another country, but not really.) At any rate, a laptop has far less computing power than the maximum theoretical operations per second that typically trigger export restrictions, so to speak. In other words, a domestic gunmaker should not have been flagged as a risk. But, then again, this pistolmaker has called his company "Weigand Combat Handguns, Inc." If you look at his wares, they are far more humble than the name implies. The name of his company makes it look like he's arming one of those wacky Montana militias. This has more to do with a disagreement with his marketing decisions more than any aversion to a legally run handgun business. HOME | OBSESSIONS | FAQ | HEROES | CAREER | BLOG | CONTACT Note that the views expressed on this site do not necessarily reflect those of Phil's employer, its business partners, its clients, or anyone or anything that doesn't come from Phil.	ABOUT THIS BLOG This blog not only discusses PR and media matters, but Phil's everyday observations about a variety of topics. EMAIL phil[at] philgomes[[dot}]com SYNDICATE Feedburner ARCHIVE YAHOO! IM SKYPE WISH LIST PITCH POLICY MY PHOTOS www.flickr.com Photostream RSS Enter your Email Powered by FeedBlitz COMMENT AND TRACKBACK POLICY Comments and trackbacks are unmoderated, though I will delete the patently offensive ones. Any comments and trackbacks are the opinions of the individual writer of those comments and trackbacks, and not those of Phil Gomes, his employer, its clients, or its business partners. If you have a bone to pick, bug the people who wrote the comment or trackback.