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Phil's Blogservations
Thursday, May 30, 2002
Posted by philgomes 10:35 PM
Ho-Hum, Phil. Yet Another Story About The Imminent Death Of Your Profession: The Mercury News is running a story about the state of public relations.
In August 1998, The Chronicle's Tom Abate quoted a headhunter as saying "There's no such thing as an unemployed high-tech PR person." Harrumph... The problem in PR was never that the glass was half-full or half-empty. The glass just got too damned big.
Thursday, May 16, 2002
Posted by philgomes 1:07 PM
A Parable For A More Secular Age:
It is the year 2002 and Noah lives in the United States. The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year." Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?" "Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. "Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices. "Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. "I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls. "The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls. "When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. "Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe. "Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe. "Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard! "The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. "I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a recreational watercraft. "Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event, therefore unconstitutional. "I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years!" Noah wailed. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?" "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."
Posted by philgomes 1:00 PM
The Second Installment Of "Think Vertical": Today, MediaMap's ExpertPR newsletter ran my second column discussing PR campaigns focused on so-called "vertical" publications. Enjoy!
Monday, May 13, 2002
Posted by philgomes 3:51 PM
Yeah, But Have You Seen My Desk?: According to the Associated Press, your computer workstation is a total pigsty. "While telephones had the highest levels of bacteria, desks, fax machines, water fountain handles, microwave door handles and computer keyboards also had high levels, researchers found."
Not surprisingly, the study was funded by Clorox.
Thursday, May 02, 2002
Posted by philgomes 4:44 PM
As If "Smile And Dial" Accusations Weren't Enough...: According to PR industry news supersite O'Dwyer's PR Daily, a Los Angeles PR firm called Public Relations Specialists has acquired a telemarketing firm, thus sending the perception of the art of PR back several decades.
I originally thought that the article might have been a joke, since it described PRS as "specializing in developing and promoting Internet websites" as well as owning and operating Boxing.Com to boot. I didn't think such businesses were still operating and, if they were, then I wouldn't think that they'd be either publicly traded—albeit over-the-counter—or have the financial wherewithal to purchase another firm. (10 million shares of stock at $1.55 per share as of today's closing.) Good PR is based on the practicioner's ability to understand 1) the industry in which s/he is working, 2) the influential communities that make the most difference in that industry, and 3) the interests, needs, and even idiosyncrasies of those who work at within those communities. Question: Can you trust that to a telemarketing firm in Margate, Florida? Seriously, people. Journalists and other influencers hate it when they are pestered by PR folk who don't know their client's business. Does the convergence of PR and telemarketing help this in any way? Can someone rely on a telemarketer-by-trade to understand the context, history, or subtle nuances of a particular industry? I will be watching this industry development with interest, though the probably same kind of interest that characterizes the need to slow down on the freeway to catch sight of a car-b-cue.
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
Posted by philgomes 3:45 PM
I'm Going To Hell. No, Really. I Have Proof Now: My buddy Jon forwarded me this link to the ChildCare Action Project's (CAP) Christian Analysis Of American Culture. These folks (presumably fortysomething jobless Christians living in Mom's basement with Michael W. Smith whining out of the Fisher Price "My First Stereo") have a very comprehensive database of movies as analyzed through the lens of Christianity.
"Jesus wept," indeed. Jon says, "Read the reviews for yourself and they basically say, 'This movie rocks. The acting rocked. The story rocked, etc. etc. But it's against God so THUMBS DOWN!" Perhaps that's an oversimplification, but it comes close. Based on the evaluation criteria—they obviously have never heard of "dramatic license"—it's a wonder that these folks are entertained by anything, even humankind's classic works of literature, drama, and music. Here's what they have to say about some of my favorite films, with my thoughts supplied parenthetically: American History X: "Not one of the previous movies I have analyzed drowned any intelligent dialogue with as much filthy potty mouth language as this one. Because of this movie, I may swear off of analyzing R-rated movies. Besides, Jesus does not want us to wear tattoos: Leviticus 19:28 (NIV) 'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord.'" (I considered this a thoughtful movie that depicted, albeit graphically, the problems, virulence, and unerring sustainability of racial hatred.) American Psycho: "The first CAP [score of] zero [out] of more than 320 analyses. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Alfred Hitchcock's original Psycho and every other slasher/killer show ever made all rolled into one. Each of the six CAP Investigation Areas revealed enough unacceptable programming to earn a zero score." (This movie was a commentary about greed and indulgence and, though violent and sexual, certainly did nothing to glorify the acts depicted. The Patrick Bateman character was actually a tragic figure prone to fantasy in order to compensate for his ineffectual, effete nature.) Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me: "Austin Powers: The Spy Who ------- Me (1999), PG-13. NOTE: I have honored the sensibilities of our neighbors in England. Because of the meaning of the missing word, I have deleted it and all forms of it from this page." (The reviewer refers to Heather Graham's Felicity Shagwell character as "Felicity [deleted]" throughout.) A Beautiful Mind: "Sexual issues included sex talk, anatomical references, seeking of sexual conquest, a woman placing a man's hand on her chest and a man and woman in bed (clothed). Maybe the man and woman in bed together were married in the movie but the actor and actress were not [James 1:21, Hebr. 13:4]. Several instances of smoking and drinking to drunkenness and drinking to celebrate earned the loss of a few points." (Does this guy have any fun?) Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back: "Silent Bob (Kevin Smith - the writer and director of this movie) becomes unsilent. And it is foul when he does. Foul is the norm for this movie. For our antagonistic visitors who think we only count cusswords, there are at least 224 uses of the most foul of the foul words and at least 184 uses of every other example of the three/four letter word vocabulary." (You don't want to know what he had to say about Kevin Smith's excellent film Dogma.) The Matrix: "'The Matrix'—of reality? So say the producers of this sci-fi flick styled after the surrealism of Blade Runner but with the new attitude and extraordinary computer graphics. But in this one the 'Harrison Ford' is more of a messiah than a crusader, at least that is what the viewer is led to believe—to save mankind from itself and its pointless, manufactured 'reality'. The quintessential 'hero' is 'the one'—a modern Moses that has the answer to an unanswerable question. The hero was even portrayed as believing himself incapable of leading humanity out of from under the control of the computer Pharaoh. A little deeper inspection into the plot might even lead the observer to believe the producers were casting the central hero as Jesus. A most uncomfortable picture to paint before a Christian." Go look up your favorite movie. He's logged nearly 600. It's a laugh riot.
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